Someone's been getting away with it. Serve them.
Type the name of the person who wronged you and the one petty thing they did — you left me on read, you never split the bill, you borrowed my charger in March. We draft the OFFICIAL LIST OF DEMANDS. It opens with their actual crime, keeps a straight face, and escalates into a single sausage and a barrel of oil. Screenshot it into the chat. Respond by Friday.
Ref. No. BGD-0417
Official List of Demands
ToMarcus
ReOutstanding Charger
WHEREAS you borrowed my charger in March, and it is now July… Return the charger. A novel written in my honour…
PAST DUERef. No. BGD-0088
Notice of Grievance
ToPriya
ReUnauthorised Consumption of Labelled Goods
…the leftovers bore my name, in permanent marker… You will treat me, going forward, like Oprah.
FINAL NOTICE Ref. No. BGD-0206
Official List of Demands
ToJordan
ReChronic Unavailability
WHEREAS you say “we should hang out,” and then we never hang out… Hang out. A marzipan, shaped like an apology…
OVERDUE